Hash Town

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

My Old Kentucky Home

Mike here - I'll be sharing the blog with Matt. We're both lazy, but two lazy people may equal more than 1 post per month.

My wife (Abby) and I were in Kentucky yet again this weekend (that almost 3 in a row)- what a trip! 6 hrs of driving every other weekend is taking a toll on my sanity.

We had a wedding on Saturday and I got another taste of "my old Kentucky home" - the rehearsal dinner was held at the one and only "Claudia Sander's Restaurant". Contrary to popular belief, Colonel Sanders (of KFC fame) was in fact a real person. Even more so, his wife, Claudia, was real too. It appears that she couldn't let her husband bring home all the bacon, so she open her own restaurant. It was the best worst meal I have ever had.

Think corn bread, rolls, mashed potatoes, corn, double-fried chicken, green beans, gravy, and biscuits. Then, think of butter - lots 'o butter. Then, think even more butter. Finally, think cooking everything in yet even more butter, with a splash of hometown lard. Carb-o-holic heaven.

Smelling it makes your intestines curl in pain. Eating it gives your body a strange addictive sensation, leaving only one thing in your mind: should I go for a fourth helping of the chicken and mashed potatos, or simply have two more corn bread muffins?

All jokings put aside - I felt disgusted after my first helping and even though I was sitll very hungry, I dared not even look at the buffet line again. Instead, I downed a bottle of wine.

It ended up that I made a very good decision (with the wine) - we had to sit with Mr. and Mrs. Christian Crusader 2004. She was a 300lb behemoth and the only one amoungst us that was worthy of Claudia Sander's feast. The only thing that disgusted me more than she were
the lumps of butter she mounded on top of her biscuits. He was a not worthy of being called a tool - instead, I would classify him as the toolbox. Worse yet, they were former Uni. of Dayton graduates - their loss.

With the bottle of wine half empty (or was it half full?), I was pondering the thought of the famous George W. Bush tactic: shock and awe. For a fleeting 30 seconds, my goal was to surprise these Christian Crusaders with satanic thoughts and liberal mumbo-jumbo. Unfortunately, Abby saw that look in my eye and quickly gave me the "if you even try it, you're not getting any for a long time" stare.

My only solace left was the remainder of the red wine - which strangely had only a 1/4 bottle left...when had I endulged in that extra glass??? All I know is that I did...

Finally, the night was over and we were able to escape their fundamentalist grass-roots psycho-babble.

Phew!

This is but a sample of the weekend - aside from our numerous encounters with the toolbox family, we had a great time!

1 Comments:

  • I think you all should use PHPNuke so that others can post and stuff. Kinda like a community blog. Since neither Mike, nor Matt post very often, we can add Joe and friends who might like to post now and again. Now maybe there will be a minimum of one post a week. With a combined frend set--comments can start flying all around. How much fun!!!

    What'dya think 'bout that?

    http://www.sweetorbeat.com/nuke/-Joe

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At 9/29/2004 2:00 PM  

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